Tag Archives: autie

“I smell snow.”

On New Year’s Eve in 1999 I remember lying in bed silently sobbing to myself. I was 7 years old and you would have thought someone took my Betty Spaghetti away from me, had spit in my ice cream, or did another terrible act against me. I don’t remember why, but I was so scared for the year 2000 to come! I think it had to do with the innocence of childhood and constant change I was experiencing at the time. I was an army brat, enough said. When you’re a kid, your imagination runs wild, you experience things with such emotion and everything is a storyline waiting to be played out with your friends. I think I had a moment of terror knowing that would all go away one day. The 90’s were fixing to be behind me, all of their great memories, and the future was a whole blank, scary page of unknown. Especially the adulthood thing.

At this point in my life, I pray this year to hurry and end. I experienced many great things and had a plethora of growing experiences. Growing hurts and some experiences can be painful. I acknowledge those experiences and thank them for the lessons they’ve taught me. However, I’m ready to move on and I’m so excited for the New Year!

I don’t know why it is so important for me to have a new “starting day” because I know logically that January 1, 2018 will be just another ordinary day. 18 years ago the big, blank, scary page of unknown scared my 7-year-old self. But what I perceived as scary then (the unknown) has introduced itself to me as exciting, new opportunities waiting to be explored.

I always make “resolutions” but they usually fade away from my memory and by December I don’t even remember what I “resoluted ” all those months earlier!

This year I was introduced to bullet journaling. I will have to blog about that sometime. Since keeping a journal, it’s been easier to keep up with goals and deadlines.

Here are just of few of my New Year resolutions-

1) Write that book.

I’ve been wanting to write a book for forever! Just something silly to gift my baby cousins and my friend’s children. I have a few story lines in my head and they just need to be jotted down. I’m wanting to write a children’s book about a couple of special cats in my life. We will have to see what this year holds…

2) Establish a morning and bedtime routine.

I stay up way too late hanging out with my “friends” Liza Koshie, David Dobrik, and Gabbie Hanna on YouTube. This results in becoming very familiar with the snooze button in the mornings. I’ve already written down an ideal routine (that I’m sure will need to be tweaked) for both my mornings and evenings to make those times go smoother.

3) Weekly yoga.

I love yoga! I only attend in spurts and I want to be more consistent. My plan is to prioritize yoga by paying for it in advance so that I won’t back out. Anxiety always takes over. Not this year!

4) See Taylor Swift in concert!

I wrote these resolutions in November and didn’t share them with my husband until last night. A couple of weeks ago he gifted me with Taylor Swift concert tickets for October 6, 2018 in Arlington, TX!!! My husband made one of my dreams, and resolutions come true and more attainable and he didn’t even know! (Thank you, Christopher for my Taylor Swift concert tickets!!!)

I see 2018 as 12 new chapters, 365 new chances, and a million possibilities to experience. I hope you feel that way as well!

What are you looking forward to in the New Year? What are some of your New Year Resolutions? Let me know in the comments below!


10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas For Your Lady on the Autism Spectrum

Christmastime. Hearing that word makes me both giddy with joy and overwhelmed. I love Christmas traditions being with family but I hate trying to come up with present ideas. If you’re anything like me, it would be great if the universe provided very specific gift lists catered to Retired Army Man That Is A Workaholic or Mother-in-law That Basically Has Everything Already or Sister Who Hoards Christmas Presents And Never Uses Them.

Well, for your convenience, I have come up with a specific gift list geared toward Your Lady On the Autism Spectrum. Here are some items I came up with that I feel are great for a woman on the high functioning autism spectrum:

1)      Sequins! My favorite item I purchased for myself was a pillow covered in reversible sequins. Obviously a pillow won’t fit into a stocking! I’ve seen some fun cell phone cases and stress balls covered in sequins that would make a great stocking stuffer. Sequins become a great stimming tool for me. I like the way it feels when the sequins change different directions under my hand and I also like that you can “draw” a picture in the sequins with your fingers and then erase it. Also, since the sequins are reversible, the pillow I have changes colors based on which side the sequins are facing.

2)      Peanut Butter! I know you’re probably thinking “Peanut butter, really? That’s weird.” Bear with me. Most autistic people have a favorite food or treat they “must” eat at least once a day. Mine is Creamy Jiff peanut butter. Pop your autie’s favorite treat into their stocking and they will be forever thankful, trust me.

3)      Essential Oils. One way I calm myself down after a long day or from a hard meltdown is through using essential oils. I have a hard time falling asleep and I use lavender oils to help me fall asleep. My favorite brands are DoTerra or Young Living Essential Oils.

4)      Stencils. I’ve really gotten into bullet journaling. It helps me to calm down and set some goals to work through meltdowns or hard situations. I’m not an artist by any means so stencils help me when I want to make my journal entry look a little bit more neat and exciting.

5)      Lessons/Sessions/Memberships. One of the tools I use to live in harmony with my autism is through exercise and meditation. The forms of exercise that I have found that work best for me are POUNDFit, yoga, and Rising Phoenix Yoga Therapy. If you know what your autie likes, get what suits her best. If you need suggestions, I’ll provide both the website you can find these places in the Oklahoma City metro and you can search for a class near you:


OKC Metro: Ariel Cullison at The Wherehouse

Near You: https://poundfit.com/find-a-class/


OKC Metro: YogaLab

Near You: If you don’t have access to a yoga studio near you, you can utilize DVD’s, YouTube, or books. However, I find a class helps me to receive expert advice if I have questions or need help, and I feel more focused in an actual studio setting.

Rising Phoenix Yoga Therapy:

OKC Metro: Sarah Bustamante

Near You: http://pryt.com/pryt-directory/

6)      Shipt membership. One of the things I loathe doing is grocery shopping. I try and do most of my shopping at Target but I usually have to go to Walmart or my local grocery store for lower prices and more variety. I could list all of the reasons why I don’t enjoy Walmart, so just trust me that I don’t like the environment there. With that being said, I’ve heard Shipt is a great service that allows others to do the shopping for you AND deliver it to your home! This is great idea and any autie would be ecstastic to find a Shipt membership as a stocking stuffer this year.

7)      Gnome. Most auties have something they are obsessed over and like to collect. My obsessions are gnomes and also Willow Tree Collectibles. I usually remember who gave me which gnome and I name them. Get your autie their favorite collectible item to add to their collection and they’ll be ecstatic!

8)      Earrings & nail polish. One of my favorite things I do to feel beautiful is to wear my favorite shade of nail polish or put on a favorite pair of stud earrings. I’m not a fan of dangling earrings so that’s why I specified the stud earrings, simple yet beautiful. I really like the Essie gel setter top coat because it feels and lasts just as long as gel/shellac manicures you can get done at the nail salon. Also, you don’t have to worry about the UV lights used. I found a cute shop named AspieNailPolish that donates a portion of their earnings to Autism Speaks.

9)      iTunes gift card. You’re probably thinking, “Why would you put this as a suggestion? This is a pretty generic gift!” Yes, it is generic, but hear me out. I use certain apps to help with stimming, especially if I’m in a public place. My favorite game is Best Fiends, for example. I really want to upgrade certain Fiends for my silly game.

Also, there are other apps and tools that are great for us on the spectrum that usually require a one-time purchase. Or, you know, we could just buy that new Taylor Swift album we’ve had our eye on!

10)   Autism awareness gear. This year has been a crazy one for me. I’ve had an amazing journey of coming to terms and accepting my autism diagnosis. All in all, I’m pretty proud to be an autie and want to spread awareness for others on the spectrum. Something like this necklace or this cute enamel pin from my favorite shop would be a great gift.

There you have it, some creative, fun suggestions that is sure to make your lady smile as she digs through her stocking this holiday season. Merry Christmas!

“You polled yourself?” “I was right there. It seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

Since being diagnosed with autism, I have learned to experience my emotions instead of pushing them away like I used to do. I used to get really upset and I didn’t know why because I didn’t let myself feel my feelings. I’ve now allowed myself to feel my feelings and explore it in order to understand myself better. My mom teaches first grade and told me that when her kids coke to her with a problem, she asks them if it’s a small, medium, or large-sized problem. This method allows them to really think and consider their situation, practice mindfulness, and gives them an opportunity to consider how best to express their problem to their teacher. I think. So, I’m using that method here. At this very moment. Aren’t you lucky to be reading about it? I’m writing this with a medium-sized emotion that I will try my best to explain. The emotion is a little bit of sadness, happiness, and gratefulness. I also feel bittersweet.

Autism can have its moments of isolation. Especially if you’re a woman with autism. Most of the books in the library are focused on helping your CHILD with autism. Or, the stupid one I saw was “the autism cure.” Gag me. (I pictured myself in an 80’s updo saying that phrase.) Online sources on adult autism usually point toward autistic traits in men. I tried listening to an audio book written by Temple Grandin. She is amazing, really. But she is also on another side of the spectrum that I cannot relate to and I feel that a lot of her research is a little outdated. (Although that’s not totally fair of me to say because I didn’t read the whole book, but she is also a bit older than I am.)

However, tonight I found someone I totally relate to! Her name is Katy and she is also on the autism spectrum. Everything she said, I totally related to. Her video can be viewed at this link.

In my last blog post I stated my Aunt Jeanye had created a beautiful piece of artwork for me. Well, I don’t know if it was made for me specifically, but I ended up with it. So, I’m just going to assume it was specifically for me. Anyway… What makes it special to me is not only the words on it, but that I received the original piece. It has texture and I can touch the lace and the glue and paint. It’s a real experience, that silly little canvas. It brings me much joy.

The words on the canvas state “love your you” which I think is the best motto that can be given to any girl, but especially one on the spectrum. A lot of girls on the spectrum spend their entire life trying to conform to the standards society expects of us. It is a really special and wonderful sensation when we are given an “olive branch” that speaks the words “I love you, and I accept you. All of your weird, unique quirks. You are loved because you are you.”

It’s feels freeing, like I can fly in the wind. Just like a butterfly, showing off my beautiful wings.


“I am a young, desirable woman.” 

Upon this journey I’ve been trying to come to terms with my autism. I’m trying to see the good more than what I consider to be “bad.” And I’m so mad at myself that I even see any “bad” at all because I don’t think autistic people are bad and I wasn’t raised to think that way either. I think “bad” may be a wrong term for my feelings toward everything but for lack of proper wording I will just use that. Anyway, I’ve become a bit (emphasis on bit) more comfortable with my tendencies. One tendency is to squeal and scream whenever I see an animal. Bird, squirrel, dog, cat, I will literally scream out of delight. Mostly just around people I’m totally comfortable being autistic around. Holding it in kind of physically hurts. I don’t know how to explain it. Another one is to blurt out phrases or songs that are stuck in my head. The songs that I sing aren’t ones on the radio, they are usually nursery rhymes. I don’t listen to nursery rhymes on a daily basis but apparently I have an internal radio that is stuck on the kiddie channel. It likes to play all kinds of songs. Row row row your boat, there’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza…..it is the strangest thing but I’ve just learned to go with it because it’s there all the time and there’s no shutting it off. Believe me, I’ve tried. The last one I do is blurt out street signs/ store signs I see or blurt a phrase I said a little earlier. As my husband and I were leaving the house, I had just gotten done having a conversation with my cat. (It sounds crazy because it probably is) so, as we were entering the car I belted out the worlds loudest “me-OW!!!” The neighbors looked. The neighborhood stays looked. Cars on the road stopped. Then I laughed at myself and asked christopher “did I just meow in public?” And he said “yup, you did.” Sometimes you just have to laugh at your quirks or you’ll just be a big ball of anxiety instead! It’s nice that I’m letting the autie bag loose and getting more comfortable in my skin, weird quirks and all!