“I am a young, desirable woman.” 

Upon this journey I’ve been trying to come to terms with my autism. I’m trying to see the good more than what I consider to be “bad.” And I’m so mad at myself that I even see any “bad” at all because I don’t think autistic people are bad and I wasn’t raised to think that way either. I think “bad” may be a wrong term for my feelings toward everything but for lack of proper wording I will just use that. Anyway, I’ve become a bit (emphasis on bit) more comfortable with my tendencies. One tendency is to squeal and scream whenever I see an animal. Bird, squirrel, dog, cat, I will literally scream out of delight. Mostly just around people I’m totally comfortable being autistic around. Holding it in kind of physically hurts. I don’t know how to explain it. Another one is to blurt out phrases or songs that are stuck in my head. The songs that I sing aren’t ones on the radio, they are usually nursery rhymes. I don’t listen to nursery rhymes on a daily basis but apparently I have an internal radio that is stuck on the kiddie channel. It likes to play all kinds of songs. Row row row your boat, there’s a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza…..it is the strangest thing but I’ve just learned to go with it because it’s there all the time and there’s no shutting it off. Believe me, I’ve tried. The last one I do is blurt out street signs/ store signs I see or blurt a phrase I said a little earlier. As my husband and I were leaving the house, I had just gotten done having a conversation with my cat. (It sounds crazy because it probably is) so, as we were entering the car I belted out the worlds loudest “me-OW!!!” The neighbors looked. The neighborhood stays looked. Cars on the road stopped. Then I laughed at myself and asked christopher “did I just meow in public?” And he said “yup, you did.” Sometimes you just have to laugh at your quirks or you’ll just be a big ball of anxiety instead! It’s nice that I’m letting the autie bag loose and getting more comfortable in my skin, weird quirks and all! 

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